5 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned From My Dad

It was the last day of fifth grade and I remember it vividly. Okay, well, maybe not vividly but pretty distinctly. We weren’t the kind of family that made the kids go to the last half day of school and be there the whole time. Dad took us to get our report cards and say our goodbyes for the summer. I remember walking into the room with my dad and my sisters. I remember Mrs. S being so excited to see my older sister. She fawned all over her. It had probably been at least two years since she had seen her and she was thrilled for a visit.

Now, the thing you need to know about Mrs. S and me is that we never really got along. Sure, I did fine in her class. But she wasn’t my biggest fan. But as a people pleaser, I longed for her to like me.

That day, I got my report card with no fanfare, no sentiments of missing each other now that it was over and I was moving on to middle school, none of the heartwarming “it’s been a great year” feelings.

It hurt.

It hurt my tween heart that Mrs. S liked my older sister better than me.

It hurt my heart that she seemingly wasn’t going to miss me.

I remember leaving broken and sad. But I also remember a conversation that my father had with me that day.

In honor of my precious father’s 60th birthday and Father’s Day, I’m going to list 5 things that he has taught me throughout my 37 years, starting with the lesson I learned that last day of fifth grade.

1. Not everyone in life is going to like you and that’s okay. You’re not going to like everyone, either, and that’s okay. You just have to do your best to remain kind and courteous and living in a way that honors God. You have to let their problem with you be their problem, not yours. You can’t control how others feel about you. You just have to do your best to love others well and live your life knowing that not everyone is going to be your friend.
2. Find humor in every situation. My father is a born comedian. My whole life, he has injected jocularity into even the most morose of situations. In fact, after a recent medical procedure, my sweet, bonus mom was messaging us about how he was trying to make jokes with the post-op nurse and she just wasn’t having it. That didn’t stop him from trying to make her laugh, though. This life lesson is particularly important because God’s Word tells us in Proverbs 12:25 (NIV), “anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” It does us no good to worry in situations in which we have no control. We must find the joy in every situation no matter how obscure it may be.
3. My father is a multi-talented man. Some may say he is a “jack-of-all-trades.” While he may be capable of doing many things in life, he has taught me that we don’t have to do everything. We have the privilege to choose what we participate in and how we spend our days. My father impressed upon my sisters and me that we are highly capable, intelligent women with limitless potential in whatever we instill dedication and attention. He wants us to live God-honoring lives focused on pursuing good health, happiness, and personal fulfillment. That means that no matter what we choose to do with our lives, as long as we are healthy and happy, we have made right choices along the way. On the flip side, while we can do whatever we set our minds upon, we do NOT have to choose to do everything presented to us as options. We don’t have to break our backs, stress our souls, or lose our integrity in order to please people. We only have One to please, our Heavenly Father. Nothing else matters in the end.
4. Of the innumerable things our father has taught us, I want to highlight his perseverance. Dad’s adult life hasn’t been all rainbows and sunshine. Through all the adversity, he modeled perseverance and tenacity for his family. There were many times he could have thrown in the towel and said enough was enough. Instead, he endured the fire as if Jesus himself was standing in the furnace with him. And you know what? Jesus was and still is there with him every step of the way. Much like the story of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego in Daniel chapter 3, my father always made walking with God and persevering a priority, even on the days it was like walking through a furnace “seven times hotter than usual.” In this way, our father taught us that persistence in pursuing what is right in the eyes of God will provide peace and providence throughout every situation in our lives.
5. Conversely, I want to discuss how he taught us about knowing when enough actually is enough. God brings people and situations into our life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When something or someone in your life is meant only to be temporary, to teach you something or point you towards God’s divine grace, it’s important to know when to disconnect and depart. There have been many times in our lives when we watched our parents make hard choices to quit participating in particular situations, places, or relationships. There are times when persistence doesn’t grow the fruit you long to embrace. There are times when God is directing you to desist. And that is okay, too. As Kenny Rogers sings in the popular song, “The Gambler,” “you’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em.”

My wise father, Craig, turns 60 this week. After losing his wife, our mother, 8.5 years ago at the age of 52, we don’t take for granted a single day of our lives. We cherish these moments with our family while we’re still on this side of Heaven. And my father, I do cherish so very much. I don’t get to see him and his precious, new wife, our bonus mom, Kiki, nearly as often as I’d like, but I am so thankful for every visit and I look forward to celebrating with him.

Dad, I love you more than you’ll ever know. I am so thankful for your wittiness, generosity, perseverance, and encouragement in all our lives. You are big-hearted, God-honoring, and optimistic on the best of days and the worst of days. You mean the world to our family. Always and forever.

Much love & many hugs,

Jules