I Had a Plan.
Not just any plan—a carefully typed, bullet-pointed, meticulously thought-out birth plan that I handed over to my doctor and nurses at each of my deliveries.
I wanted to control everything—how labor would progress, what interventions I would or wouldn’t have, and how each moment would unfold.
But, as it turns out, labor and delivery don’t follow a script.
With my first child, nothing went according to plan. She arrived five weeks early. I had to be induced. And for 35 hours, I fought my body, willing it to comply with my expectations. I clenched my jaw, breathed through contractions, and stubbornly refused an epidural, determined to power through on my own.
By hour 33, the pain was unbearable. I was shaking so badly that the anesthesiologist gently asked me to please be still as he administered the epidural. And then, something miraculous happened.
I let go.
The moment the medication took effect, my body relaxed. I stopped fighting the process. And within two hours, I was fully dilated, rested, and ready to bring my daughter into the world.
What I had fought for over a day happened in less than an hour—once I finally surrendered.
Holding On Too Tightly
Isn’t that how we often approach life? We make plans. We try to anticipate every possible scenario. We work hard to control the outcome, believing that if we just try hard enough, we can hold everything together.
But then, things don’t go the way we expect.
The job offer doesn’t come through.
The finances feel too tight.
The kids go through a rough season.
The diagnosis shakes our world.
And suddenly, we realize just how little control we actually have.
This is where Proverbs 3:5-6 speaks so powerfully:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
We weren’t created to carry it all. We weren’t designed to white-knuckle our way through life, trying to manage every outcome.
Instead, God calls us to trust—to surrender our understanding, our timelines, and our carefully laid-out plans, believing that He is in control even when we don’t understand how everything will unfold.
Surrender Isn’t Giving Up—It’s Giving Over
For many of us, the idea of surrender feels scary. It sounds like giving up. Like waving a white flag in defeat.
But surrendering to God isn’t about giving up—it’s about giving over.
Giving over our worries.
Giving over our need to have all the answers.
Giving over our expectations and trusting that His ways are better than ours.
Just like I fought through labor for hours before finally letting go, we often exhaust ourselves trying to force things to go our way. But when we finally release control and trust God, we find the very thing we’ve been striving for all along: peace.
What Are You Holding Too Tightly?
As Lent draws to a close, this is a perfect time to reflect:
• What are you holding onto so tightly that it’s stealing your peace?
• Where in your life are you striving for control instead of trusting God?
• What would it look like to lean in instead of holding on?
Maybe it’s your schedule—trying to balance work, home, and motherhood without a moment to breathe.
Maybe it’s expectations—feeling like you have to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife, the perfect everything.
Maybe it’s worry—playing out worst-case scenarios in your mind, afraid of what might happen.
Whatever it is, God is inviting you to let go.
Not to drop everything and give up. But to open your hands and trust that He is leading you, guiding you, and working things out in His perfect timing.
Leaning Into Trust This Easter
As we approach Easter, we’re reminded of the ultimate act of surrender—Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying:
“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
Even Jesus—the Son of God—surrendered His will to the Father. And because of that surrender, we have new life, freedom, and peace in Him.
This Lent, instead of striving for more control, what if you chose to lean in?
Lean into prayer instead of overthinking.
Lean into Scripture instead of worrying.
Lean into God’s presence instead of carrying the weight alone.
Because when we trust in the Lord with all our hearts, we don’t have to force things to happen. He makes our paths straight. He brings peace where there was anxiety. And He leads us in ways far better than we ever could have planned.
So today, take a deep breath. Open your hands. And surrender whatever you’ve been gripping too tightly—because God’s got it.
Need Help Creating More Space for What Matters Most?
If you’re feeling overwhelmed and craving real-time support, I’m opening a beta coaching opportunity for a few moms who are ready to create more space for what matters most this spring.
I’ll share more details soon, but if you already know this is something you need, send me a quick message and I’ll personally share the details with you!
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