“Is there anything on your plate that you can delegate or eliminate?”
I asked myself that very question – the same one I often ask other moms – and immediately felt its weight.
Was there something?
Probably.
But did I want to let go of the things that technically counted as “extras” but genuinely brought me joy?
Not really.
Real-Life Pressure Meets Real-Life Passion
My psychiatrist has asked me more than once if I could go part-time – or even take a break from working altogether – during this season of motherhood.
I’ve never been able to say yes.
She suggests I remove some stress from my life, and I think to myself, “Well, I can’t quit my job, and I definitely can’t send my kids back to where they came from – not that I’d want to!”
She really does understand where I am in life.
She sees how much others depend on me – and how constantly my mind is spinning to keep up.
The hardest part of that question isn’t always something obvious we can cross off a list.
The real weight often comes from feeling like we’ve lost the ability to fully lean into our own dreams and passions.
Motherhood shifts things.
Our choices look different.
Our schedules look different.
Our calling hasn’t disappeared – it’s just taken a new shape.
Becoming a mom doesn’t cancel your dreams.
It might delay or re-route them, but it doesn’t erase them.
🔁 Motherhood Rewrites Our To-Do List
My dream of becoming a published author hasn’t changed.
But now, my kids give my story more character – and a whole lot more content.
They’ve also added a lot more to think about and juggle – soccer practice, gymnastics, school drop-offs and pick-ups, doctor’s appointments, birthday parties, meal planning, emotional support, holiday prep, and so much more.
Sure, I could delegate or eliminate something.
But maybe the better question is: What do I value most in this season?
💡 Why Your Values Matter More Than Ever
Knowing what I value helps me determine what stays and what goes as I plan my schedule.
This matters because when we lose sight of our values, our ambitions can quietly fade beneath the noise of motherhood.
Living by our values helps us decide when to say yes or no to a job promotion, a volunteer request, or added responsibilities outside the home.
When you know what matters most – and make decisions through that lens – you’re less likely to say yes out of guilt or pressure.
Will you still feel overwhelmed some days?
Absolutely.
But you’ll be more equipped to reset when life gets off track again.
🧠 The Mental Load of Motherhood
Just like we explored in last week’s post, Holding It All Together: Managing the Emotional Load of Motherhood, this week we’re diving deeper into the logistical side of motherhood.
The mental load refers to the running to-do list inside a mom’s brain.
It’s the nonstop thinking work that keeps our households afloat, but so often goes unseen and unappreciated.
“I’m the only one who knows everything that needs to be done.”
“Even when I’m not actively doing something, I’m still managing everything in my head.”
Sound familiar?
From anticipating diaper blowouts to packing snacks and restocking sunscreen, we’re thinking five steps ahead for everyone in the family – while still trying to remember where we put our coffee.
When we become mothers, all the things we used to do just for ourselves become our responsibility for everyone in our home.
It’s not just doing the work – it’s remembering it all and anticipating it all before anyone else even notices.
And that constant, quiet thinking?
It’s exhausting.
🙏 A Biblical Reminder for When Life Feels Like Too Much
God never expected us to carry all of this on our own.
He is our strength, our wisdom, our Provider – and He’s not leaving us to figure it out solo.
We’re invited to seek Him in everything, because He offers both presence and wisdom exactly when we need it.
“But all things should be done decently and in order.”
– 1 Corinthians 14:40 (ESV)
This verse reminds us that God is a God of order – and when we live by our values, anchored in His truth, we can move forward with grace… even when life feels chaotic.
God didn’t give us these lives and these children and then abandon us to figure it out alone.
And He didn’t give our children to us without also equipping us to nurture, protect, and provide.
Just as God cares for us, He entrusts us to care for the ones He’s placed in our homes – with His help every step of the way.
✔️ 5 Steps to Manage the Mental Load as a Working Mom
You don’t have to do it all – but it helps to know what matters most.
Here’s a simple process to help you lighten the mental load and find clarity again:
1. Clarify What Matters Most to You
Identify or revisit your top 3–4 core values. These values help you prioritize what truly matters when life feels overwhelming. These will become your decision-making filters.
My values? Faith, family, personal well-being, and freedom (especially through meaningful work).
These help me know what to keep – and what I can confidently release.
2. Brain Dump Everything
Write down everything on your mind.
Yes – even the 3 a.m. worries, school spirit days, summer camp deadlines, and birthday RSVPs.
Don’t filter or organize yet. Just get it all out of your head.
3. Prioritize Wisely
Take that big list and sort it:
- What’s urgent?
- What’s important?
- What aligns with your values?
Use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix or a value-based system—whatever helps you clear the noise.
💡 I go deeper into this in The Working Mom’s Chaos Cure Quick Start Guide.
4. Time Block Your Week
Use time blocking to assign your top priorities a spot on your calendar.
Start with the high-priority tasks, build in margin for the unexpected, and remember to schedule breathing room too.
Not sure what breathing room looks like?
Think breaks, rest, self-care, and spiritual care.
5. Delegate or Eliminate
What can someone else do?
What doesn’t need to be done at all?
Give yourself permission to let go of what doesn’t matter.
The key to managing the mental load isn’t doing more – it’s doing what matters most.
When you know your values and act in alignment with them, you’ll feel more peace, more clarity, and more confidence – even on the messy days.
And when life starts to spiral again (because it will), remember: “All things must be done decently and in order.”
🔄 Need Help Cutting through the Chaos?
The Working Mom’s Chaos Cure Quick Start Guide was created for you.
This simple, faith-filled resource will help you:
✅ Declutter your mind
✅ Focus on what matters
✅ Take action today (not someday)
You’re not alone in this chaos, Mama – and there’s a better way to move through it.
It’s not about doing more.
It’s about doing the right things – with purpose, peace, and presence.
📥 Grab your copy today for just $27 (reg. $47) — Offer ends June 3, 2025
👉 Get the Chaos Cure Quick Start Guide Now »
💌 Final Encouragement
Mama, when your brain feels like it’s spinning and your to-do list is never-ending, pause.
Come back to what matters most.
Ask God to reorder your thoughts – and your day.
You’re not failing.
You’re faithfully showing up.
You’ve got this.
And I’m here to help every step of the way. 💖
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